“If you can keep your wits about you while all others are losing theirs, and blaming you. The world will be yours and everything in it, what’s more, you’ll be a man, my son”.-Rudyard Kipling

OB’s mom has created so much problems for me! *Damn, I was never ready* Okay, let me explain……I AM FEMALE! *I know you know it and I know it too, so don’t duh! Check this out and listen* my daughter is FEMALE * I know, I know, this female this, gets somewhere trust me*….. The problem: AS A FEMALE, I TEND TO THINK FEMALE and thus empathize with females, but having OB has forced me to think MALE! *U know how hard that shit is?* I need to actually be sensitive to the things we females say about men all frikkin day and not only that, EMPATHIZE! *shit! Again, I was never ready* we women have gotten it in to our good “intentioned” heads, that we are the only ones that suffer, we are the only ones that get bullied, pressured and generally have a hard life *yes! We are the ones getting the majority of the bullshit! No lie….being Ob’s mom doesn’t mean I ain’t seeing the bullshit* But guys, its hard being a man out here! It’s really hard…..Leaving in a world where you a considered a dog! Boxed into the category “of all men cheat” *Do they? Bear with me, remember I have only been OB’s mom for 5yrs tuu! So, this empathizing with men is a struggle *
I am writing this piece to say, we should all emphasize with each other, that will make us better humans! *even a little better will help* was telling a friend, with this eye opening experience that I am having, I wish all men have a daughter and all women a son! See, this will mind fuck us so bad, that we all want the best for our kids and in doing so, we respect each other’s feelings, strengths and issues a little better each day! Coz, trust me, as research recently said, all men want their daughters to be intelligent and strong *although, apparently they don’t want it for the wives, which is silly if u ask me and patriarchy’s fault again!*

I am writing this piece to remind us females that, these men are people too! They’re someone’s kid and they are loved! We must be mindful in our expectations, they’re not super heroes or super human for that matter! They can’t play your dad, lover, friend, private banking account and general punching bag, when you are having a shitty day! Not all men are dogs, not all men are insensitive and not all men are out to get you!* I really hate the “all men are dogs and cheaters” bullshit though! Ur reality doesn’t make it true* be mindful……..Hell, I have issues in the above as well, I am still struggling! Coz, society has gotten it into us that men should play all those roles! And it has also gotten it, into men’s minds that they should! “Socialization into masculinity is thought to underlie many of the emotional problems men experience, which stem from a combination of their emotional inexpressiveness and reluctance to admit to, and seek help for, various personal problems” (Wong & Rochlen, 2005) *truthfully, we are fu*ked till we do something about it* See, all this, is confusing, as mothers we teach our sons a different reality but expect something else from our men….*where and when, does the disconnect happen?*Maybe we need to be honest as well, tell our kids *U are in shit dude! What you are learning at home, is not what the streets are going to teach you ,but Son, keep your head up and remember mama’s voice when navigating this crazy ass life*How do we expect to have good men, when all we do is walk around bashing them?When men complain that they have been raped for instance, it’s taken as a joke and their masculinity is questioned!? * Like they can’t be victims of sexual assault right??* Women’s femininity is not questioned when she gets sexually violated! Coz, men like any sexual advance right? As they’re devoid of emotions and are not human neh! According to South African Male survivors of sexual abuse, in 1999, 48% of males were raped by strangers, compared to 28% of females (Criminal Victimisation, 1999. Bureau of Justice Statistics, 2000) and apparently the biggest reason that men were not reporting sexual assault was the fear of being seen as a homosexual!!!! WHAT ARE WE DOING TO OUR SONS! Why are we teaching them that they don’t matter? Why are we not speaking up for them? This means as women, we need to call ourselves out, when our friends and us, are saying prejudiced statements about men! Trust me, it starts there….I am writing this for my son, to cry and rage on his behalf! That the world expects a lot from him, rage at the injustice and the fact that, I honestly cannot protect him from it when he becomes a man! I am writing this to say to him, I will try and walk a mile in your shoes from time to time and remember, it ain’t easy for you and call myself out when I am thinking female only!