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Yesterday a ‘bombshell’ was dropped! Charlie Sheen declared his HIV status! *Wow! What a Hero, right? Right!* See, I had three main problems with this firstly, Charlie was forced to out HIS status! HIS! And this is so despicable, in so many levels and makes me sad and sick, at the stigma and bullying that still exists when it comes to the disease! Its plain wrong! *And yes! I feel extremely passionate about this!* my second issue was, apparently Charlie has been knowingly sleeping with people without disclosing and protecting them and himself! *I see how this can be linked back to my first issue but let me try and explain* Too many issues to ponder here! Let me start with that in my opinion and moral make-up, when you are about to get into a sexual relationship with someone, as the carrier of the disease, it is your responsibility to protect them, hey, maybe you don’t need to disclose to each and every one of them but don’t be a douche and not use protection! That is scum behaviour and morally despicable and just makes you an ass of a human being! But as well, in this day and age everyone should be responsible for their own ‘sexual protection’, how many times should we be educated about HIV? How many times should we be told to practice safe sex? And do we need celebrities like Charlie to remind us that this shit is real? *Hey, I am not the poster child for safe sex with two kids and all but come on!* or do people believe that some people are invincible to the disease?

The third issue I had, was with the people who had been blackmailing him, now those are disgusting! And they’re actually worse than he has been, by not disclosing! They’ve helped endanger people for their self-gain! To extort Charlie and enriching themselves, but this where complexities come in and show that the world is such a difficult place to stay in! If they had outed him isn’t that wrong as well? My conscious is yes, out him if he is spreading the disease and he is a danger to society but it’s a bit tricky, hey? You don’t want to out people but sometimes, I guess for the greater good you have to! And then you have to wonder if it’s really you doing it for the greater good or for sensationalism! The world is a hard place! STIGMA SUCKS! BUT WHAT SUCKS MORE IS INFECTING OTHERS PURPOSEFULLY!

This story matters to me, as, I will always be passionate about HIV! Always! I have been affected! So many of my loved one have died from it and some are living with it! I have seen the fear, have experienced the pain of disclosure! The loneliness and the heaviness of having this disease! The fear of being found out, the obsessiveness when one gets a simple rash! The way I have been surrounded by this disease, it made my twenties a bit of a living hell, as I felt that I had a target on my back! *so many people in my inner circle man! So, so many* felt that I might be next! Coz, someone who is close to me and is living with the disease said “I have come to the conclusion that it was sometimes a luck of the draw!” another one once said “you just had a child now, did you know your partner’s HIV status?”

See, we all act like we know, coz we trust people when they tell us that they’re not and we take them at their word sometimes! But what if you meet douchebags like Charlie, like my cousin’s baby father, who knew that she had lost both her parents to Aids but still decided to infect her! As I have said, we all know it is our responsibility, do the right thing and go test as a couple before having unprotected sex! But HIV is so complex man! Take a friend who tested constantly, was always negative and tested again when her boyfriend cheated! And the result came back negative, she tested twice in the same year and the result came back negative! Until she went again third year and she came back positive! She stole one of the tests and went to the boy’s house and told him her status, nigga acted shocked until he was presented with a test and then he declined and asked “why are you making this such a big deal?” So, my friend being the private investigator that she was, she snooped around and found out that nigga had been infected for a while and when she was going through a psychotic break and bumped into her on the streets “your problem is wanting everyone to know about your status! As you could just drink the meds and go about your business! Why can’t you keep quiet?”  *the fu*k!! And for the record he was lying, she didn’t let everyone know, in this stigma filled world, who would? What she did was just embarrass him when she would go where he was and ask to speak to him and he would refuse*

And the other truth that I have learned about HIV is, it truly honestly affects everyone! Whether you are a church girl, mousy house wife, ‘loose’, party girl! It doesn’t discriminate! Although the world likes to act like this is mostly a black disease and reckless lifestyle indicator! It is not! I have seen an aunt who was constantly at home baking and cooking, succumb to the disease! I have seen my dad whose life was a bit questionable, being taken by the disease! *my dad, who loved life and people! sitting in a room not wanting to come out and greet people coz he was embarrassed about his appearance* I have met heroes through the disease, people who I will forever consider stronger than me, face the disease! People like my then 16yr old ‘cousin’ disclosing whenever she met someone, still with the fear of rejection! But doing it anyway!* and I am ashamed to admit, that she initially disclosed to make our lives easier! After a certain incident and I telling her that I couldn’t deal and I will not sit there and watch her infecting others! What bullshyt! I forced someone to disclose! Who the hell was I, in her battle with the disease? Her battle!* and the awesome guys who were negative accepting her and dating her anyway! Her giving us the freedom to make fun of her ‘condition’ as she called it, we would ask “why a jersey in this weather dude!?” and she would respond “Leave me in peace bafwethu! Ya’ll know I have a condition mos”

I have been taught by this disease and I still know nothing! I am still curious like the next person and I am still fascinated! But I have also learned about my own prejudice with the disease and still fight them, knowing what I know and whom I know! Oh! And nothing grits my tits like someone referring to someone with HIV as having Aids! Isho…….that fuck*n annoys me! Also, can Charlie just be respected and not be used as the poster boy for the disease! He really is much more than that………

Article By Nthabiseng Lucia Tselapedi