Looking at yourself is never easy, it’s a gut, heart wrenching process as you might not like what you see. Apparently a person changes every seven years! Who you know and see now, will not be then.
I am at a crossroads in my life and I have days when I like the person I see and want her to reach her capitalistic endeavours! I have accepted that I am a capitalist but I have also realised problems that come with being a capitalist and black in South Africa. *I know you don’t see but wait, let me paint my anguish for you* (Capitalism is an economic system and a mode of production in which trade, industries, and the means of production are largely or entirely privately owned. Central characteristics of capitalism include private property, capital accumulation, wage labour and, in some situations, fully competitive markets.) At times I am deeply ashamed of this person, ashamed of her “my and mine” attitude.
But being a capitalist doesn’t necessarily mean I agree with the entire system but with other elements within and those elements, are what I find problematic. Okay, let me properly explain what I am saying or where I am finding difficulty, what is the difference between us the emerging middle class and the white middle class? “The middle class can be defined as the socioeconomic class between the underclass and the affluent who derive the bulk of their incomes from employment in the form of white-collar or professional work,” *That is the bone of my contention* we all want to protect what we have acquired and we all want to keep acquiring!!! *AIN’T THAT A SHIT*
I want to buy my beautiful house in my “perfect” crime free suburb and drive home in my expensive cool “I’ve made it car” and I sure as hell don’t want no squatter camp in my back yard! Also, I will march against fellow South Africans who are not in the same social space as myself and tell them they’re savages for their xenophobic actions, without knowing their frustrations or willing to listen because they’re lazy, right? ?*right! Mmh* 70% of the population still lives in households earning less than R6,000 a month, we have more poor earners and poor people in South Africa for us to turn a blind eye and be cocooned in our wealth and warmth! AND WE ACT LIKE THEY CHOSE POVERTY!South Africa is now the most unequal society in the world, apparently even overtaking Brazil for its unfairness; 15 million South Africans live on less than £1.50 a day.
In 1804 Haitian slaves liberated themselves by successfully defeating Napoleon. Twenty years later, the French reminded the Haitians that they, themselves, constituted a debt. The Haitians did the only thing they could to retain their physical freedom and borrowed the equivalent of $150 million (almost double the cost of Louisiana) from Wall Street to pay “reparations” to the French. We all know where that story led Haiti, now questions arise,are we as the black middle class headed were Haiti is? Are we really so happy to be “free” we are willing to leave our people behind? More importantly are they still “our people”? Some of us say it without even flinching “you are so ghetto” *let’s get real here, historically speaking, we all know who stayed in the ghettos!* black culture gets frowned upon by us!
I know I don’t have all the answers, which is why I am struggling, coz truth be told, we have also worked hard to get where we are and we are still working hard! And yes, some of our people have become dependents and are unwilling to pull themselves by their bootstraps to get out of poverty * Yes! My capitalistic monster is too huge and from time to time it will rear its huge head* Malcolm X said we “cannot have capitalism without racism” *take that in and mellow on it* I have heard white people say South Africa is moving away from racism but towards classism and I wholly disagree with that and despise it even *but is it a lie?* see, my aggressive rejection of that school of thought is, South Africa is still racist and I am black and care about me fellow black people!*All true but I am still the same person who complains about the heftiness of my tax!*
Being part of the growing black middle class is not all roses, we struggle daily, from the structural racism we face on a daily basis, from our own people making fun of how we pronounce words in the office space, to coming back to your community and being told you think “you are better” but our biggest struggle is with the self, we are like PTSD (post traumatic disorder) suffers, been through a war and been left to deal with the consequences by ourselves. What I am really struggling with, is putting my duality of capitalism and black consciousness into one space!
Article by Nthabiseng Lucia Tselapedi
