“Men Marry Women With The Hope They Will Never Change, Women Marry Men With The Hope They Will Change!”– Albert Einstein

For better or worse! Lovely words those, such lovely words…..But let’s just unpack them for a bit or let’s just be totally honest here, people say those hoping for better…its normal human behaviour, nobody wants worse *I mean if you did it would be pure lunacy right?!* Here is a scenario, we are single, hot and fun, witty and whatever your ideal partner is *insert here* and then we meet the one! That one person you want to give your attention to, your love and your life! You choose this person over everyone else based on who and what they’re and you commit! *Obviously, lots of things attracted you to this person, personality, her smile, character, and her eyes whatever* So we can safely say, vows are a contract, with terms and conditions and based on what you are seeing at that moment and expect to see……..So, we fly off into the sunset and our rainbow filled lives! *Rolls eyes!*

Fast forward a couple of years, the person you know has disappeared, you are stuck with a stranger in the house! What to do? You see, I am a firm believer of change, it happens to the best of us and it should happen, it signals growth. A human being can’t stay stagnant! We are meant to grow and if we don’t, it’s a problem……. Learning is important and when you are learning, you are growing! I once asked a friend what happened in his relationships and why they never worked out and he said “You know Lush! It’s not that the ladies were bad people, it just that we grew at different periods in our relationships!” So, what is this article about? It’s about the superficial! It’s about the changes that can be rectified, it’s about the change in your control…..How you look and your behaviour! Kanye married Kim Kardashian for a reason, he did not marry Melissa McCarthy or Gabby Sidibe! *Gabby and Melissa have men who are into them, who don’t want a Kim Kardashian!* so, why when married do you now metaphor into some strange woman that your man has never met and is not into? We spend so much time being hot and sexy when single, trying to snag the man and once we get the man we let go!

I know, we have so many reasons why we have let go, “I have had kids” *so many women with multiple kids who still look hot!*, “I am tired”, “the kids are driving me insane” *I know these feelings! Shuu…* “I don’t have time to be about my looks when I am focused on making sure everybody is right”, “my man should love me for who I am and not for how I look”…yada! Yada! See, in an ideal world all these would hold true but we are not in an ideal world and reality is, men are visual beings *women are more auditory* and we know our men’s type or we should *if you don’t, find out now!*and the problem with the world sometimes, is we like changing things and acting like they don’t hold true…….We can’t unfortunately do away with the fact that men are attracted to what they see and women to what they hear! Also, we want our partners to be our best friends or we claim they are, but we get angry when they tell us we have changed, we are not whom they got with?! People will rant and rave about freedom of choice, a lady not being allowed to age and ish…but reality is, the guy also exercised his freedom of choice when he chose you based on how you look! And no, I am not talking about age here….that is something beyond your control! And leave that sucker who has a problem with you aging! *He is not the one!*…..I am talking about you looking good and smelling good! Making an effort for god ‘sakes!