Me: hey, these are my ancestors
Ancestors: (waving)
Growing up in a devout Christian family, talks of ancestors were scarce, basically non-existent. I was made to believe that ancestors meant demi gods, and they were around, if acknowledged, to challenge God’s authority, which I heard from Sunday school meant that I was calling for disciplinary action from the heavens in the from of a lightning bolt, and hearing that left my little mind fried, deterred completely from acknowledging anything outside of my Christian faith.
Now, fully confident in my journey with God, I’m comfortable to say that I’m a black woman, with black traces and a black ancestry, plus, I got to find out that the tale of the “lighting wrath of God”, was stuff Sunday school teachers tell kids to keep them quiet during teachings, and I can tell you this, it worked. Growing more and more in my “Africanism” I’m being introduced to my ancestors. I understand now that ancestors represent to me, long passed down mannerisms, conduct and communal observations, that not only separate traditions from each other, but also strengthens relations among members of the same tribe, giving each of us a place we can belong, sharing in the pride of our individuality. So, my mother has been my compass throughout this journey, in fact she is the reason I’m on it. She has let me in on a few things that need to be observed between my ancestors and I the older I get, because, in her words, it makes for more well rounded life, ones African background cannot be avoided.
Here are a few things that have stuck with me since my journey into the African spiritual society.
- You can’t wear the clothes of a deceased family member, without having gone through a cleansing ceremony. Not wearing dead people’s clothes for me was a no brainer, because that to me just looked weird, uncomfortable, invasive and unsanitary. After a few rounds of washing, maybe..
- You can’t attend the funeral of your sidepiece. Ayeye!! No matter how close you were, or to what extent your “relations” were public knowledge, you can’t go to the funeral, because apparently you’ll be incurring the anger of the ancestors, who’ll take an executive decision to strike you dead. Ouch.
- While in a relationship, the guy shouldn’t be home when the body of the girls parent is brought home from the morgue, before the burial. The guy can only be around before and after the body has entered the gate, anytime in between you’ll be stricken down, dead.
- When your ex dies, you must get cleansed. I asked how long ago an ex does this rule apply, and I got the “ancestors don’t work with time scales”, because they don’t keep time, we have to keep check of ALL exes, and order a cleanse for each one that bites the dust, to wash of any bad mojo. So much for breaking up. 5.If siblings share a man, and he impregnates one of them, the other sister shouldn’t be there when the child is born. If the first cry of the baby is heard by the other (not pregnant) sister, she’ll immediately drop dead or run mad. The guy you ask? Oh nothing happens to him
- Apparently, ancestors have zero chill, so be careful when addressing them. The things they tolerated while in the physical, they have no tolerance for now, so addressing them has to be cautiously observed. It is important to address them using clan names and animal totems. Tradition must be observed.
After continuously seeing shows like “Utatako” and “Khumbul’ekhaya”, and hearing about people looking for family members so that they can be connected to their ancestors, makes you think that maybe there is more to being African than the language you speak or the color of your skin, but that a deeper sacred bond exists, and it’s that concept that fascinates me the most, and inversely injects shades of depth to my life journey. Want to learn, to save our traditions from being marginalized to the point of complete removal. In knowing them, we can talk about them, amend them where necessary, but importantly share them with generations to come, holding close our individuality. Plus, they make for great conversation pieces.
Article By Moshibudi Thatego Madia
