Just a mini brief history on this article, it was written January 2015 and I’ve since held on to it as I thought that I really was still a bit of a douche and releasing it would be me lying to the world… Fast-forward to today?? Well read on and see what you think…
I never thought of my self to be a douche, why would I? my persona had the makings of a perfect gentleman. It had the art-most pleasure of being molded up by a queen that is my mom. So how did I manage to stray and in the process hurt the very same souls that were of the same caliber as that of the woman who taught me wrong from right…
I’ve had countless number of girlfriends, yet the volumes speak very little of a boy who knew little of love. My high school years were preoccupied with being smart and nerdy. Hidden away from those big eyes and nerdy glasses was an overly shy dude who was fairly crippled when it came to interacting with the opposite sex. Besides being very talkative, I never would really let anyone in…… But notwithstanding I managed to blend in.
So as the story normally goes, and like any typical American high-school movie, the quiet kid who found refuge hanging around the kool kids and the bullies eventually graduates into a bigger bully himself…
The moment I realised I could get girls, there was no turning back, it was all uphill from there on. But sometimes you just realise that the lolly eventually losses its sweetness . That was then, but selfishly I admit it was fun while it lasted…
If Karma is anything to go by, I foresee endless years of it lol, sharper than a cracked mirror echoing 7 years of bad luck.
Then my defense comes, better then than later. It would not be a good sight to be 30 and above still trying to explain to the University resident security guard what exactly is the visit about. I guess its cosmic that certain things get old very quickly so we can learn from them.
Yet I always wonder what people are really referring to when they say they have fallen madly in love……. I find myself asking self too many questions like: What is this this seemingly invisible heart filling emotion that most dare to talk about? Is it well within anyone’s reach?
“Illusions Mr Anderson, temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an emotion that is without purpose or meaning, and all of it as artificial as the matrix itself, although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love” The Matrix revolution (Final scene).
Have I ever experienced it? Looking back at closed chapters of that once upon a time forgotten childlike stories, I’m sure I had imagined it if not short lived it. For what it’s worth I’d rather be forward looking than to have a subconscious filled with faded emotions from a distant past. The curiosity cuts deep though…
After spending a fair amount of time researching personal development and successful made men, I cringe at the spitting realization that always seems to follow; they all are happily married, well a significant number or them. Do you at this point middle finger out the stats and try shake off what was written as you soldier on alone?
Dear future wife, uhm… I’m not a douche anymore……. I think
Article By Kagiso Maloma
About the writer?? I’m just a mad guy with a big focus, when I’m not flying toy helicopters I play accountant and entrepreneur slash innovator all at the same damn time…
