Even though the penning down of this piece is partly influenced by the tweet of one famous guy, the need to address this issue is however due to a greater group of guys ushering the same sentiment. The lady in question is a high profile celebrity, but the mistake to dismiss this case as a special case is unfortunate as million other women worldwide go through the same thing every single day.
“ I made her, if it was not of me she wouldn’t be who she is today”…This statement might not sound offensive or wrong but, when used for the purpose of degrading someone believe me its nasty and narcissistic. What troubles me most is the constantly dominant male voice that keeps saying these words. Actually everything about this statement is wrong and offensive, the question remains how did we get here? Why are we even here?
Let me break it down for you, the notion that one person can make the other is false. It exaggerate the worth of the other person while stealing the glory of the next, irrespective of the role one played in your life, the conclusion that such a person made you is unforgivable. The most potent element of this statement is the “pull him/her down” element. This is achieved in two ways; first by portraying the subject as an ungrateful human being. Secondly the perpetrator assumes a godly position in the subject’s life; this is so to say if I met you before you were successful and contributed in the process that saw your success, I will always own you. I can always walk in and over your life, and you always have to be on your knees because I made you.
A million of women are victims of all sort of abuse, verbal abuse being the most common and yet less vocal form of abuse. It does not surprise me that such an insulting, disrespectful and belittling message said in a public space was not picked up. When you hear so many wrong things at the end you just stop picking the wrong elements of such statements and start accepting them as a norm. The truth is a lot of women are subjected to this kind of talk behind closed doors. It is not only an abusive element but also a way to keep her in-check, yes to reduce her self-confidence and mud-walk all over her to look like a bigger person and stimulate your ego.
In short men need to stop this kind of talk, most importantly stop trying to reduce women so they can look taller. Stop insulting women so they can look smarter, and make sure next time someone takes this type of behavior and mindset to Twitter it will be treated with the contempt it deserves. It was a great thing that you helped her but now that you using it against her; your initial intentions are highly questionable…
Article By Dimo wa Moraswi Sekele
Dimo is a writer, poet, serial activist and has Entrepreneurship as a career of choice. Self taught Videographer and photographer
