I remember that the night was filled with thunder and rain, I still remember that I was dead in my sleep not even the thunderstorm could wake me up. I remember that you came in and physically shook me. I still remember how hard I tried to pay no attention to you, but HEY, your persistence was something I could not ignore. I opened my eyes to grasp just a glimpse of who you are, yet I couldn’t find much, for I was still half asleep and blurred. I still remember that I finally opened my eyes, and all I could see was you. I tried to probe for more about you, but I had no luck at all. Most of all I remember that you and I became so close and so inseparable. I still remember that we were so close that I never saw the need to give you an option to stay or leave. In fact I wanted you to stay, because you were all that I had.

We moved to a new city as one, ‘inseparable’, as they used to call us. We moved because we wanted to find us, but along the way we found that we were a complete opposite and that our aspirations were different. I could see the discomfort and anxiety through the transition.

Along the way you saw the need to destroy me and everything that I touched… You tried so hard to destroy the happiness I found from the city. You tried so hard to take away all of the friends I found in the city. All I wanted was to be happy but all you wanted was to hurt me, no matter how much I pleaded with you; You say it was all because you wanted to be the only one to love me.

So whenever I hear Adele say ‘hello from the other side’ I can’t help but think of you. I thought of leaving you behind so many times, and jump onto the other side. And now, right now I do think that this is the right time to part ways with you.

I realize now that there was no need for me to be a monster to my own being. I realize now that there was no need to be bitter. I realize now that you taught me so well how to appreciate my small cycle. I realize now that you opened my eyes to beautiful things. I realize now that the value of true love still exists. I realize now that I am stronger and wiser than you can ever be. Most importantly I realize now that I can be whole and complete on my own without you.

Now Fear I want to address you directly, before you walk out that door, I want you to know that my world, my life, does not revolve around you anymore. Today I look at myself in the mirror and all I see is strength and pride in me. And one last thing before you shut the door on your way out…  YOU and I are not ONE anymore, you are fear, and I am me, and we are done!!

“Hello From The Fearless Side”

Article By Pamela Kunene

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