Mzanzi Humor FB Page Fire Comments On ‘What Is The Weirdest Thing Someone Has Done To You During Sex’
One day I was hitting it raw from behind when I accidentally asked her “how is your daddy?” instead of who is your daddy. This forced us to immediately put on our clothes and discuss her fathers diabetic condition.
PHUMAYE! Didn’t hear her correctly cos I was deep in the game, kanti she was saying PULL MY HAIR
When I cum I just scream, I don’t know where that demon comes from. Than we were doing it at her brothers place while her brother was watching TV, tried holding myself but I couldn’t man, ngazizwa sengithi “hhoooooo babe, Hmmmm, aweeeh maaaaaaaaaah ”
Athi u brother wakhe “fusegani man”
She was screaming in different way like “hhayi, hhawu hhayi, hhawu, hhayi”
it was weird I couldn’t cum..I started remixing it silently like
“ngizomemeza,hhayi”… it took forever
She says to me “suck my titts” kanti issa trap, next thing im sucking a gallon of breast milk 👶
Azanka ka tlhatsa so
She fainted on Round 2. Can u imagine the panicking, ended up calling my mum to come help. I was 23 then
I was an amateur frst time having sex
N i choz the wrong freakin girl..she got naked n say sum shit i ddint know
“Come here n suck thiz clit”
A voice came in my mind n i think it was jesus or moses trying to help me up
He said “google that shit”
So i stoped n google a clit
Um not gonnna suck sht i dont know
She just prayed nonstop so i decided to put my d in her mouth and i said”amen babe, this is the holy stick that Moses was using for magic..be ready for deliverance”
I was hitting it raw then pulled it out and came in her thighs then out of the blue PHAAAA she slapped me so hard across I almost punched her .. she said I was suppose to cum on a towel not her thighs
pick her up at some club for a one night stand nyana, so I’m busy hitting the P all of a sudden girl starts popping out family secrets bout how her grandmother bewitched her coz she’s jealous of her potential to succeed….. m there thrusting thinking her P too gud for me to be worried bout witchcraft now
The dude licked my ass nd i cud feel that he wanted 2 squeeze his tongue in yoooo i pushed him… Then he wanted 2 kiss me 😷😷😷i said nooooooo, he asked mos it’s ur ass 😂😂😂. Mxm while im stil trying to recover frm the ordeal he said lets mix my sperm with yoghurt nd eat with strawberries nd i stil refused. Then boom he flips me nd muffed until i cum… When i left his house i blocked his numbers
His pipinyana had stretch marks so he kept saying ‘close your eyes,its more nicer when your eyes are closed ‘ kanti motho didn’t want me to see them I ran for my life
I was on top “missionary” & her eyes were all over the roof, looking dizzy and her mouth “mumbling” you would swear that she swallowed a hot egg, i could see that she was dying and was like wtf? I stopped! She literally shouted at me saying “Hey wena msunu uyikhuphelani marn faka” and her legs were shaking!
I couldn’t stop laughing!
The makeup was washing away and now I could see the real face, I lost my erection at the same time
After a night out Stopped at Chicken Licken for some after beer snacks, with soul fire sauce on the side, and by mistake the sauce landed on my fingers and while busy ka Foreplay busy fingering there she tells me that the cookie is on fire with only a beer onsite to take out the fire and my tongue to mop the mess.#SpicyCookieandBeer
She told me to go deeper and put all of it inside, and by that time it was already all in…. I faked coming and told her I will put all of it in the next round, I then said I’m going to car to take condoms…. started my car left that Kimberley hole
While i was given head and really feeling it then boom she went to suck my toes, hebanna en nou?
As we were heating up she got so overwhelmed with the strokes and shouted: “If you dare leave me, I’ll kill you and all your family members ”
That shit was weird.
After lasting for like 3 minutes, i acted like i fainted 🤣🤣🤣
Was hitting it so hard and when i was like bby im cuming she pushed off and she was like : wait 🤚🏼 . Uban u Pearl????
🤦🏽♂️ Fuck she went through my phone 🙄🤦🏽♂️
asked me to literally fart😯😕😑😐😨😧😲…like “phinya babe phinya ke nyaka go rota “my pedi ex though 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂weird but funny now.
Lol he started singing(lion of juda) and i joined In
she purposely farted ..on some Skrrrya boom boom paa paa skibiki-dun doon
He is a Zulu guy but during sex admin he speaks Spanish mixed with English saying “give it to me my pronono”
There was this chick the one for ODI (one day international) so when we were starting with our business ..you know mos you have to kiss all that staff..so when I was starting kissing she gave that weird look you know..she asked me ” hhe buti uzele umcimbi wanton apha wokuncamisa okanye wokutsha umnqundu..I was like ahhh then my common sense worked fast so my response was like ngizotsha umqundu why? She then said itsha umnqundu uyeke ukuncamisa uzongidika apha
Lol when u be dicking her down for bo ma 5 minutes and she be like ” enough with fingering I want the dick now”
Usually he would moan but that day he was screaming shouting”egameni lika moya, elendodana and some shit engangayizwa” the dude scared me that day imagen you used to his moaning then one day bhu! Uvula izincwadi ezincwele. Now when I think about it maybe he was cursing the demons, in this case I was the demon Lol
The bitch called me George, “Fuck me George ” but that wasn’t my business to worry bout,i finished what i started.
After she came her eye ball disappeared for a minute like she spiritually vacationed for a minute…imagine me thinking bout how I wish I watched how to get away with murder.
Luckily within a minute of my confusion she came back with a huge sigh and dripping smile.
Was only once I had sex with fat Sugar mum,then she start screaming damn louder so I thought let me reduce the speed…..
She’s still screaming,i pulled out & she’s there still screaming then I dressed & left her with hEr legs open and still screaming😕😕😕😕
haa haa haa hee hee AlonE😕😕😕
He wanted to go again after he came buh hz dick won’t let hm n he was lyk, “dnt u fucken die on me nw no fuuuuuuuuck shiiiit, u cnt fucken die on me nw” wen he gets lyk tht I keep quiet n stop breathing coz every small sound will upset hm… He scares me, I think I need to address this wif hm
She was ridding me and busy complaining lento esyenzayo is every wrong LoL I asked her siyeke wathi cha
She asked.”what are these”..I said “my balls”…she said.”get them in too”..
The idiot started sucking his thumb like a bitch while cumming and started calling me “mama”
Screaming like the widow who’s seeing a coffin of her husband going down. And the neighbours were still awake on the other room.
I was the neighbour.
Pussy stank bad so instead of stopping, lit up a cigarette and blew it all over the room to get rid of tha bad smell…. aint gone let tha smell get between me n bustin a nut.
I regretted the day i dicked a crazy older chick than me, before i knew it she locked and blocked the door with her body nd put keys in her huge boobs, cause she didnt want me to go even after spendin a day shaggin her none stop, she still wanted more, if my dick cud talk it would have laid a serious complaint for dick abuse by a crazy older chick.
after sex she asked me if i fucked all girls the way i just did to her, and i said yes…. then she told me that we wont continue doing this because surely my EXs are still hunting for good sex, so i dont want to get hurt she said.
Been on some 50shades stuff, I tied her up on the bed, later realized I don’t have a condom I quickly ran to she shop to buy one, in my way I met the Gf she asked me to accompany her home as she had some bags I had to help her with, lol so the the gf was home alone to lol I tied the shit out of her too and boom still no condom LOL I left to buy them lol on my guess who I met… Lol
Another hoe
For some weird reason she thought fingers in my ears would turn me on… then she talks shit, like bitch you’ve just shut down my hearing channels! I don’t hear shit you’re saying you stupid hoe.
Wen um on de edge of de bed n hz standin doin a dog style n hz whole dick is inside me n hz got my boobs from behind n spanking me n um playing with hz balls… Me: I wanna marry you, I wanna have your kids
he feel off my dick nd started shaking on the floor alone like someone getting electrocuted, i almost called the ambulance thinking may be she was having a stroke.
It was my friend’s b/day braai and I normally have just 1 or 2 glasses of wine…but that day i drank the whole bottle. When he was about to come i just cried…he stopped…looked me in the eyes and asked “Bby why are you crying” and i was like..”I dont know”… he laughed at me so hard that i ended up laughing at myself 😂😂😂 We never came 🙈🙈we giggled until we fell asleep😂😂😂 Sooo embarrassing tjoooo 🙈=]
She farted in my face during 69.
I didn’t mind
strangled me cause I pulled his newly circumcised dick and I fainted😂
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