I’ve been wrestling myself for a while now. The idea of having to come out has not been sitting well with me. I am very much aware of how furious you will be when you receive this. Your monster fuming look still terrifies me dad. But I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I feel the need to address couple of issues. I could have done this a few years ago, but whenever I tried, I was considered the rebel daughter, the disrespectful one.
I still remember how you fought with mom, leaving her covered in bruises, bunches of hair visibly missing from her head. Her face transformed into an obnoxious object, some of her teeth missing, with a huge hole on her chick. To this day I wonder how you dug a hole on her chick dad. You slapped me a couple of times for crying while you were attempting to murder my mom right before my eyes. I kept quiet, I swallowed every tear that was meant to come out. I made sure that every emotion that could have been expressed through tears was absorbed immediately. To this day I don’t know how my mom survived that terrible experience. The beating never ended, it was just the beginning of a long journey. I got used to the watching you beat her up, kicking her, and always aiming for her face. I guess you wanted her to transform her into a monster just like you. All I could do is watch really, helpless, no screaming, no crying just watch wondering when you will finish your beating job for the day. The most painful thought I always had was is she still alive. At times she would just stop crying and screaming. You know I thought by now you would have shot her with your gun as you always promised. But I am sure you were so much of a coward, I mean you’ve always been afraid of facing the consequences for your actions. Begging me to ask her to drop the assaults case whenever she got you arrested. What was I supposed to do, you were the provider, you go to jail, and we go hungry. How I feel bad though. I am sure somehow we would have survived without you. I really wish we left you in jail, exactly where you belonged. You only stopped beating her up in front of me when I risked my life for hers, and said this is enough, please beat me up instead of her. But you always brought her home with both her eyes bruised, unconscious or unable to speak. When I ask what happened to her, you’d lie and say she got beaten up by people. Oh dad what a monster you are though. I still feel like you deserve to be in jail for putting us through all of that. Thank you for showing me how a man should not treat a woman. Real men don’t treat their family the way you treated ours. Real men don’t abuse their family mentally, emotionally, and physically. You are not a real man, and I know that now. Real men don’t act the way you did
But I forgive you though because, I don’t want to be bitter anymore. I don’t want think of you and constantly think of the pain you inflicted on me. I want to free myself from that pain. I don’t want to look at the man that will marry me one day and see a reflection of who you are. I hope the man I love will look beyond the pain you caused me and love me the same. I hope he will understand that the person you are doesn’t define who I am.
Dad even though I addressed this letter to you, I am writing it instead for everyone who has had hatred plaited and stitched into his or her life ever since they were born. I am writing it to tell those people that they can find strength. They can succeed beyond what they ever thought possible because they are not defined by who their parents are. They are so much more than that. Women, you don’t deserve the abuse from men, and men you are not obligated to abuse women, today I was to reiterate what Oprah said ”Y O U R T I M E I S U P!!!”
By Anonymous
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