When Love Turns Violent #WordsHealCampaign by Ride Abuse
I have been blessed through speaking to you about my experiences in my marriage.
I didn’t realise that I needed to talk to heal. I healed myself through self-healing by finding things to do that would take my mind away from all the bad. In many occasions that was a tightly closed lid for me, that kept the secret trapped in and I could but for a moment live out the life that I longed for.
I am my parent’s child, I come from a non-violent loving home. I married a boy that became a man at the age of 16 as the families bread winner. I mothered him and believed his dream of one day being a successful businessman. When the abuse started I blamed myself and protected him by understanding his background. Through that reasoning, I planted a seed that I watered and it blossomed into a rotten overripe fruit. Still, I ate of it. I enjoyed it because oh well at least I had a handsome man next to me every night. With time the violence got worse and I betrayed myself by remaining loyal to him.
No one knew what was happening through closed doors and it made me happy. Right after a physical abusive altercation, he would cry soo much that I would cry with him. Maybe there is something deeper than I thought was happening in his life. You need to stay and help him Boni. So not only was there physical abuse, there was also infidelity that I came to accept because I felt as if I deserved it because I myself started getting cold towards him.
…. (cut the story short)
~Incidents~ 🥁was throw across the room and had a knife pulled up on me 🥁Got strangled until I almost lost consciousness 🥁he pulled my hair out during a fight and had a bold spot for months 🥁attacked me while driving with a friend in the car 🥁attacked me at a party in front of people 🥁attacked me at home and threw me with a glass that tore into my leg 🥁hit me till I landed in hospital at1 am in the morning 🥁attcked me and my brother and told me today someone has to die.
That was the last straw for me and that’s when I knew enough is enough as the knife touched my chest.
I didn’t realise that I was in an abusive marriage until I spoke to you. Well to put it straight I didn’t want to be a statistic, but I wanted a perfect family picture because we are church people and that’s what we strive for.
Now… Now I know what I went through. Now I have to learn to forgive myself for betraying me and my kids. I have to learn to love without prejudice. I have to learn to protect my space, mind, and body.
I have to learn to trust again.
I hope you have a beautiful journey and bring those stories back to us.
This is a very short story of my life that I decided to share with you. Because I am ready to let go finally but I will not forget.
Stay blessed my brother and remember the real course of your ride.
🏿
By Boni
#WordsHealCampaign is by Ride Abuse (to share your story please email info@geniuslevels.com)
Ride Abuse “Words Heal” Word Exchange: #AbuseStopsWithMe
“Let your words be the healer of your soul, the understanding of wisdom sort after in pain, the defining of self in the very essence of my creation. I am word and I will be heard. Hear me whisper to you with ink from the pages of my heart.” Lunga V. Ncala
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