“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” – Maya Angelou
I have always had an issue with being the “only” in a situation, especially where I know there should be “many of us”. I mean I am not saving the world! Or designing any lifesaving anything! But alas, here I am, again in 2018, as the only black person and only female😳 in my department and truthfully, it doesn’t feel good! It’s never felt good for me! I always have so many questions and issues with it!
Hell, Listen I can sit here and tell you about how hard I worked, how hard I hustled, the struggle it took for me to get my degree, the sheer will it took for me to get here, how brilliant I am at what I do, yada! Yada bullshit I can use to justify my space and place! Although all still true, the reality is, there are a lot more of me’s all over, hell there are even more who do way more than I do but they’re not here. And I have a massive problem. You can call it imposter syndrome what, what…but for me it’s not feeling out of place due to my achievements or lack of. It’s the fact that in 2018, corporate SA still remains mainly white & male…especially the higher you climb and that is maddening and isolating.
I have written a couple of articles on the “only” black syndrome, about those who enjoy being in that space and are gatekeepers of other black people, those who don’t want other black people to join them and enjoy the title of the “first and only” before *okay, to be fair they really can’t do much about the FIRST but they can do so much more ka the ONLY”.
Now, I want to write about those who are in that space and want to help but are truthfully unable to.
We expect a lot from those people, I personally have been extremely critical of them and expected a lot from them…..it’s easy to do so when you are looking from outside. Listen, I am still saying a lot can be done and should be done, I am saying we shouldn’t be comfortable with the status quo but I am recognizing the difficulty of their position. You are alone! Surrounded by people who don’t see what you see and are unwilling to, that’s the fight! the continuous struggle that drives one insane, we have come to expect that from white South Africa but you also have your own people looking at you as a sell-out, as one who should help but are not.
Here is an example of someone I know, who is a staunch black rights supporter, about black upliftment, female empowerment, hell votes EFF! Tried to make a change where she was and to some levels did, she was the only black female director, surrounded by white males. One, she had to fight for respect, for them to recognize her skills and respect her judgement. To be taken seriously, then once when that was done, she had to focus on giving a platform to black management in her team, she had to make way for them to be seen by the board, for the board to know their names and appreciate their skills regardless of their bias or in spite of their bias. And she was alone! In a board of twelve, she was alone. She got outvoted many a times but she didn’t quit. SHE KEPT AT IT!
Guyz corporate SA is nie pap and vleis nie….hehehehehehehe! Imagine putting your neck out, isolated and have your own people calling you a sell-out, saying you think you are better! Wishing for your demise! Shit is rough yo! Attacked left, right and centre! Imagine the trauma! Everyday pressures!
A change needs to happen, everybody needs to stand up….whatever is happening is taking forever struu! There’s way too few of us, to get the change happening quick enough and rona ba bangwe refela pelo…..Can’t be an “only” in 2018 maan…ijo! Then you read things like “Companies are having a hard time filling some senior executive positions with demand far exceeding supply” “Demand for middle / department managers has been on the rise. Since January 2018, vacancy levels grew by 17%” Bathong!!! For me that is code for “we don’t have enough white males to fill the job” coz I sure as hell, know a lot of highly qualified none-white people who can fill the vacancies but because ya’ll want them to jump hoops to get a little bit of what white people receive in SA, you overlook them, you don’t see them.
Guyz, I can write a book about this…hehehehehehehe! Before ya’ll go crazy and say “but are they qualified/ready?” as a company, what have you done to get them there? What developmental plans have you done? Also, is your staff open to being led by them? What have you done to ensure you have a staff that is accepting of them? I am asking this questions because I have seen some black leaders being eaten alive by their subordinates, some refusing to be led by them and companies not doing anything, instead working the person out. Just because a few white people had their knickers in a knot because they didn’t want to report to a black person and companies rewarded them for their racism. *for the record SA sucks for black professionals! We are tired*.
Anyway, I’m still outchea! Alone, Fighting, shaking these damn tables! Aluta continua✊
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