I had mastered the art of being broke, In fact, now that I think about it, I craved being broke. I could blow my whole salary in a week and survive on the little that’s on my Credit Card for the rest of the month. I was so used to the struggle that even when I was earning R20 000 I re-created the struggle by getting rid of MONEY as soon as I got paid. Through car payments, HP credits, multiple phone contracts, new clothes, booze booze booze, and more booze, always on the road going nowhere, hosting parties every weekend, subscriptions I don’t even use like gDStvdstv premium etc.
If I had R10 000 on my account I would literally have sleepless nights planning what to do with it as soon as I wake up. I would feel guilty and think some debits had not run yet. Money could not just chill in my account.
To quote a famous philosopher DR Malinga “Aklaleki mawnemali”
All because I was soo used to the struggle, I kept recreating it. Us kids who grew up with nothing have bigger holes to fill with things so as to be seen as a somebody. We are scared someone will see through us and realize I am that little hungry boy from eMandeni with no surname. That’s why Gucci’s sell more to new money. New money is desperate to get out and will follow every trend that is perceived “It”. New money will post about school fees they pay at Hilton College for their kids plus swimming and Cricket fees.
This is a weakness, the more a person covers up with material things the more tiny they are inside. They are paranoid, when they see a group of colleagues chatting and laughing they assume it’s about their outfit and later that day go buy new clothes on credit or upgrade a car and shut them up.
Money with Busi Selesho on her book Money and Black People puts it clear that Debts is not the problem but a symptom, the problem is WE FEEL THAT WE ARE NOT ENOUGH. That’s why doctors wear a statoscope in all of their profile pics (no offense to them) but they have found an identity that’s respected and why go back to being Mthuthuzeli Zikode from Emthwalume when I can simply be a Doc.
ITS US, ITS YOU, ITS ME
It’s not my boss, it’s not my wife, it’s not my family, it’s not my friends who keep making me buy booze and borrowing money from me.
Take responsibility and things will change.
Fix the only thing you can actually fix “YOU”
- Keynote Speaker, Startup Coach and Consultant at Coach Mondli (Pty) Ltd
- CEO and Founder of Black African Organics, an organic Skin, hair and Wellness products manufacturing company.
- Business Analyst by profession, with 15 years’ experience as a business and technology consultant in large corporates like Accenture, MTN, Santam, Eskom, Impala Platinum, Exxaro, SARS, Anglo American, Standard Bank etc.
#coachmondli
#youarewhoyouarewaitingfor
#itsyou
